The Uncanny Manic Pixie Dream Boy

Written By Stephanie Dinsae

I wanted to want you 

pretty&so-silly boy

with the really pretty face

I wouldn't have minded touching,

studying, slither-snake soft and slow, to siphon 

the energy out of you, your charm,

your ability to knock my guard down.

If only for the split of a second.

I reckoned I could fawn over you,

trying to make you my blueprint, 

my model to improve upon.

I could feel something greater

in the core of you and I wanted to want 

more but I didn't. Just a silhouette 

to slip in and out of, suave to the eye

and the touch. I needed your method 

of making eyes twinkle, making laughter 

chime out of mouths slow, tossed back in joy,

to be you, but better I needed to out-do you 

l could feel you had a semblance of sense, 

but were restricted, trapped in the marble

you hardened around yourself to settle 

for unnecessary misery and rigid aloneness.

I wanted to crack at my marble like warm decadent

dessert, with excitement, anticipation,

with knowing what kind of bliss might exist

when I sculpted myself into a closer-to-God like version of you. 

Stephanie Dinsae

A poet and Black Classicist from the Bronx, New York, Stephanie Dinsae is a 2019 Smith College graduate and has received an MFA in Poetry and Literary Translation. She often writes poetry about myth as it relates to Blackness and her own life, video games, friendship, and the fallibility/flexibility of memory. Currently, she is published in The Common, hex, Cartridge Lit, Exposed Brick Literary Mag, Dipity Literary Magazine, Burrow Press Review, BRINK, ANMLY, and The Seventh Wave. Her favorite things to do are dance around to music and obsess over astrology. In case you were wondering, Stephanie has major Libra, Scorpio, and Sagittarius placements.

https://www.theblackmedusa.com
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All The Worlds We Love Each Other In